About Change

How many years does it take to change from the patriarchal societies of biblical times to gender equality in the modern age? 

The short answer is thousands of years.  Exactly why it is not clear, but in many societies today women are still considered second class citizens.  They are not allowed to vote or to drive.  In some places girls get killed if they attend school!

Here in the US we women have been voting for one hundred years.  We came a long way, but in some progressive companies there is still a gap in pay between men and women.  As shown in 60 minutes of April 15 the CEO of Sales Force was not aware of the gender gap in his own company. When it was pointed out to him he had to spend 3 million dollars in the first year that he implemented true gender equality.  

I have been a true liberal since I was a girl. These days my main challenge to liberals is how come they are so accepting and tolerant with gender bias among Muslims?  Is tolerance more important than equal rights for women?

Why are we all so afraid to criticize Muslim practices?

Why is it so impolite to upset the Muslims?

We are talking about equality for women!!!!  Women are half the population of the world!  We know for a hundred years that genetically their minds and intelligence are equal to men.  We are still fighting for it here.  But in the Muslim world we shrug our shoulders: It is their culture. It is their problem....  Change takes a long time so it will take them a long time...

I am happy to tell you that I found an ally among Muslims!  I met her at the gala of the Museum of Tolerance.  Soraya Deen: an advocate for women's rights in Islam.  I saw this tall lady standing there wearing a beautiful golden sari.  I was immediately drawn to talk to her and we exchanged phone numbers.

Soraya Deen with her friend Raheel Raza.

Raheel Raza received the Museum of Tolerance Award that evening at the Gala.

Raheel Raza is President of The Council for Muslims Facing Tomorrow, founding member of The Muslim Reform Movement, Director of Forum for Learning, award winning journalist, public speaker, advocate for human rights, gender equality and dignity in diversity. 

Soraya Deen was active in opening Northern California's first female-led mosque in Berkeley. In April 2017. This is a place where women can participate and feel empowered. 

She has written an op-Ed article in sister-hood, an award winning digital magazine spotlighting the diverse voices of women of Muslim heritage. The title of her article: "Are Women Welcome at Paris Mosque?"

Here is an introduction written about Soraya in the sister-hood magazine:

Soraya Deen is the founder of the Muslim Women Speakers Movement, and Co-founder of Peacemoms (Promoting Christian Muslim Dialogue.) She is a professional speaker, spiritual activist, lawyer, Educator and Author.  Soraya was the first Katheeba at the inaugural prayer of Qalbu Women’s Mosque in Berkeley.

I met Soraya again on a Sunday morning in Van Nuys and we have agreed to join our voices.  Here are some of her questions to me that I am often asked:

1.    Do women enjoy equality with men in Judaism?

I have multiple answers to this question: 

Everyone needs to consider these simple numbers:

Muslim population of the world is one point eight billion that is 18 plus 8 zeros.

Jewish population of the world is fourteen million that is 14 plus 6 zeros. 

The number of Muslims is over a 100 times larger than the number of Jews.  This difference should be considered every time you try to make this comparison.

My second answer is that change comes much faster in Judaism.  Just some examples: Polygamy was outlawed by rabbis back in the 11^th century.  In main stream Islam men are still allowed to marry four women.  And many Muslims are importing this practice to Western countries.  All this information is available in the palm of your hand.  

An additional answer: Jews have many forms of observance available to them: orthodox, conservative, reform.  They have choices.  I believe the extreme practices limiting women’s freedom do exist, but they are less rampant.

2.   After hearing that I was born in Iran and moved to Israel when I was 4 years old, Soraya asked me: "Why did your parents leave Iran?"

My answer to this question starts with the Jews of Mashhad as I wrote "about me" in my blog:

The Jews of Mashhad were forced to practice Islam for one hundred and fifty years. They kept their Judaic traditions in hiding.  My parents were married in Mashhad then moved to Tehran where I was born.  In 1951 the entire family immigrated to Israel. The Mashadi community kept their specific traditions for decades throughout the world: Israel, New York, London, and Milan.

When the state of Israel was created it was everyone’s dream to live where they are free to practice their Judaism.

Soraya knew about stories like this, but she said hearing it from me made the stories more real and vivid.

I told her about my aunts and uncles given Muslim names: Soraya, Moussa, and Dawood.

She asked me if there was persecution, but I thought it was mainly intolerance. 

I asked her if she heard about the pogroms against Jews, she said she never heard the word.  The pogroms who drove many Jews to wonder around and seek better lives are not known to many Muslims.  But Soraya complained that in the mosques they are always taught to hate Jews, to the point where she is tired of it.  She talked about "men with beards" who keep telling women what to do, but she is on a mission to empower women to follow their own wishes and desires.

In a small way I am hoping to bring a change in equality for women around the world.  Maybe the day will come that all men and women will work hand in hand for a better world.